Dear Hannah's Mom

My family took a giant leap of faith earlier this year, by taking on a 16 yr old foreign exchange student.  It's not the bravest thing any one's ever done, I know that.  But it was very unexpected, very spur of the moment and it turned out to be the coolest thing ever. 

We literally were cold called at 6pm on a Saturday night - it is actually a miracle that I even answered the phone - because, let's be honest, I don't answer my home phone all that much anymore.  A stranger, out of the blue, asked if we wanted to host a student.  Why I listened to her speech is beyond me, I hang up on telemarketers after the 3rd syllable.  Maybe I could tell she was genuine, or that I really couldn't believe my ears that a perfect stranger was calling a perfect stranger asking them to let a 16 yr old stranger live with them for a year.

I told her I couldn't really give her an answer right now, she understood, but asked if I was even contemplating it, to let her know within 24 hours.  They had 25 students left to find families for and a very limited amount of time to find them - school was starting THIS week.

Long story short - we agreed.  It's kind of an odd process once you get into it, you get to pick your student out of a line up.  You get to see their pictures, their grades, read essays they've written, essays their parents have written but in your heart you know this is not really who they are.  These brief paragraphs and doctors notes about how they don't have any serious medical issues or even allergies.  The one sentence some teacher writes about being a great student and an eager learner.  The random snapshots of perfect strangers on their family vacations.  You know, this is not at all encompassing of their personality.  So you pick one, you find a reason to pick one student over another.  Whether it's age or gender or their general interests or all of the above.  You pick one and you feel like you are going to hell for hand picking a child out of a lineup.  Or for not picking someone else.  I wanted someone else to pick for me, it made me feel dirty. 

But I know that our destiny is not up to us.  That "fate" is not fate at all, but God's plan.  I much prefer to believe in God's plan.  I much prefer to think I am not making these decisions at all, but that they were made by Him, for me, from the start and this is just his way of putting the human spin on things.

So Hannah came to our home from literally half way around the world.  And Hannah is wonderful. 

She is a typical teenager, full of wit and humor.  She is quiet and thoughtful.  She is athletic and studious.  She is a better student that I ever was.  She has the drive and desire to be wonderful.  But she is not mine to keep.  She is only staying until May and then she will go home to her family - that family that she misses, that family that knows her so much better than us.  That family that put her on a plane and said goodbye to her so she could experience something beyond my comprehension.

Hannah's mother has never contacted me.  She has never written me an email in broken English.  She has never asked Hannah to translate even a sentence to me on the telephone.  I think about Hannah's mother every day.  I wonder if she misses her daughter in the depths of her soul.  I wonder if she worries if she is happy or getting to eat foods that she likes.

I've asked Hannah if her mother would LIKE to write me an email.  Hannah's response was "my mother doesn't speak any English."  I've suggested that her mom write an email that Hannah can translate.  And then I will respond via Hannah's translation.  Hannah says it's not necessary.  I've spoken to our support people about this lack of contact.  They said that sometimes the students parents are worried that we will think they are stupid because they don't speak English.  That sometimes the language barrier is just too big.  They encouraged me to keep trying.

So my idea is that I will mail Hannah's mother a letter.  I real handwritten letter - in English.  I will hope that she will find someone to translate it and that she will understand 1/10th of what I am trying to say.  I will include pictures of our family, of Hannah and hope for the best.

I think it will go something like this.

Dear Hannah's Mom,


Thank you for raising a child that is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.  Thank you for putting your faith in God and putting your daughter on that plane to come to a country she's never been, to live with a family you've never met.  Your courage has made my life brighter.  Your daughter has made my family bigger.


I want you to know that she is doing very well.  She has made some great friends.  She is making wonderful grades.  And she joined the volleyball team and we watched her play as many games as we could.  On parents night, when they introduced her and she walked across the floor towards James and I, with a rose in her hand and a smile on her face and then they announced your names as her parents and our names as her host parents, it made me beam with pride that I would forever be associated with her in that manner.  Like her second family.  Her American family.  And I couldn't be happier to have her in my life.


Every once in a while I think to myself that May will come sooner than I expect.  That our 9 months with Hannah will be over.  I already know I will cry when I put her on that plane that takes her home to you.  I hope she comes back with a lifetime of stories.


I want you to know we are taking good care of her.  And I want you to know that I want you to write me back, even if it's written in a foreign language that I don't understand and that I have to painstakingly type into Google translator and even if I then only understand every third word.


Jillian

Okay - I know I can't send that because my frilly metaphors would totally confuse someone who is trying to understand the literal translation of a foreign language.  Do you know how hard it is to write a letter to a stranger who doesn't speak your language?  Do you know how hard it is to not write a letter that if translated incorrectly would make it sound like I wanted to keep your daughter forever?  Or make her think that her daughter makes me cry?  Scary stuff here, but I'm going to try. 

My problem is that I am wordy.  That I could go on and on and on for pages and pages.  My fear is that I will make the letter more about me than about Hannah.  And her mom will think I am a totally narcissistic freak. 

I will write the letter. 

And then I will revise the letter 100 times.

And then I will put it in the mail along with all of our Husker paraphernalia that we are mailing them as Christmas gifts.  Even though we are Iowa Hawkeye fans, but they wouldn't understand why we are sending Iowa stuff for gifts when we live in Nebraska. 

And I will hope for the best.